3 more boxes checked off... We are almost to our first $1,000 mark!
Spent my $10 allowance yesterday on iTunes music. Felt GREAT about it. I love having new music. I bought 2 smaller albums - the Blind Pilot "iTunes Sessions EP" and the Gregory & the Hawk "The Boats and Birds EP". Both are awesome; I've had them on shuffle/repeat since yesterday.
I've felt very tempted this week to buy things. Almost bought a $16 notebook yesterday at Paper Source for my class, and then realized that I didn't really love it, didn't need it, and was wanting a new notebook because I'm wanting SOMETHING to make me feel more secure and confident about my decision to take this class.
How often have I done this in my life? Many, many times, I am sure, and it's not good.
We were standing at the cash register, and I said, "You know what, nevermind." I felt relieved immediately. That is a good sign; as a rule I tend to put lots of things back right before I get to the cash register, and tell myself that if I'm still dreaming about it the next day, I'll come back. 99% of the time, I never think about the put-back things again.
What I needed to do was find security inside myself, not as a result of a crisp, artsy new notebook.
I should say need, not needed - because I am still feeling insecure about this class. Can I really be a fitness instructor?? It's hard - you have to show your stuff in front of everyone, and I'm still such a beginner, and others are so much better than I am...
All the more reason to realize that a notebook is not going to help me!
haha... doesn't it sound so ridiculous now? But that is truly where my mind went... "Ahh, I'm feeling unsure of myself - a new notebook will help me feel strong and capable and smart!!"
Silly! It's so silly.
But I can see that I am learning, and my mentality is changing a little bit. With each relief-filled item put back on the shelf and declared unnecessary for my happiness, security, and self-worth, I am gaining control. And that, my friends, is the goal here.